


Worth More

by Obsessivecompulsivereadr



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, end relationship is kadam, not really Blaine friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessivecompulsivereadr/pseuds/Obsessivecompulsivereadr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After some soul-searching, and another incident with Blaine, Kurt figures out that he's worth more than everybody has always tried to tell him he is.  And maybe, just maybe, so is his happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth More

Having Blaine with him at NYADA was hard.

It’s not because he didn’t enjoy spending time with his boyfriend, because he did… most of the time.   It’s not because he was upset that Blaine somehow found success in every single class Kurt struggled in, and it wasn’t because of Blaine somehow getting into all but one of Kurt’s classes.  He’d sat through direct competition with Blaine all through high school.  Kurt was used to watching Blaine soar while he worked his ass off for every moment of success he could scrounge up. 

No, having Blaine at school with him was difficult for only one reason. 

Blaine had met Adam Crawford.

Adam was extremely patient with Blaine, who insisted on joining the Apples and dragging Kurt along with him.  Kurt had tried to tell him it wasn’t a good idea, but Blaine wasn’t listening, of course. 

Blaine didn’t know Adam was _Adam_.  Kurt’s Adam. 

Well, not Kurt’s Adam, but that’s kind of how Kurt still thought of him.

Being faced with Adam Crawford again, on a near daily basis, was a temptation Kurt wasn’t sure he could deal with as long as Blaine was in the room.  And seeing Blaine there, Adam beside him during a performance, Kurt couldn’t help but see all the ways in which Blaine was lacking. 

Adam was nicer to everyone in the group, Kurt included, while Blaine often snapped at them if they didn’t do what he suggested.  Adam doled out solos to the singers who would be showcased best on the chosen songs, while Blaine complained if every song didn’t go to him.  Adam was patient and kind, where Blaine was impatient and, honestly, often unkind. 

After a few months of performing with both of them, Kurt began wondering why he’d gotten back together with Blaine in the first place. 

But then he’d remember Blaine’s insistence at being given a second chance.  His visits.  His phone calls.  His reminders.  Or Kurt would remember his father’s request that he hear Blaine out ‘’just this once’’ every single time Kurt was upset with his boyfriend.  The requests became so frequent he wondered if his father knew what the word ‘’once’’ even meant.  Or Kurt would remember how much his friends insisted that he and Blaine were perfect for each other. 

Kurt decision to take Blaine back became a regret almost immediately.

Then when Blaine starting hanging out with Adam, Kurt felt lost.  Jealous. 

Kurt discovered pretty quickly that he wasn’t jealous of Adam.  He was jealous of Blaine.  Or maybe envious was a better word.  Either way, it was Blaine who got to spend time with Adam outside of Apples practice.  Whenever Kurt tried, he was met with a bittersweet expression on Adam’s face, or a furious expression on Blaine’s. 

So after a while he just stopped asking. 

Blaine would come back to the apartment with stories of how he and Adam had worked on a song together, or how an arrangement Adam had done was perfect for Blaine’s voice.  Or they’d talked about England, and Blaine would go on and on about how friendly Adam was to him.

And Kurt was just… tired. 

Blaine got to have what he wanted.  But Kurt got nothing. 

Well not _nothing_.  Kurt got Blaine, and only Blaine.

That’s how it always went, but Kurt was never as upset about it as he was now.

And the difference was that now Blaine got to have Adam, and while Adam wasn’t an object to be won or fought over, Kurt missed him and wanted to be around him.  But his own choices prevented that now. 

His choices, and Blaine’s choices, and Adam’s obviously bad choice of allowing Kurt and Blaine to join the Apples with him. 

They were all a factor, but it didn’t matter any way. 

Even if Kurt broke up with Blaine again, he couldn’t have Adam.  He’d already ruined that for himself.

\-------------------------------

“Hey, are you alright?”

Kurt turned around and tried to smile at Adam.

“I’m fine Adam.  Are you okay?” Kurt leaned back against the wall behind him, where he’d bent to pick up his bag after practice. 

“You don’t look okay,” the lilt in Adam’s voice made Kurt’s heart clench. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Kurt asked sharply, and then immediately regretted his tendency to snipe at people when his emotions got out of control.

“Because I care about you?  I am allowed to care about you, aren’t I?” Adam replied, his tone never changing, never taking on a hint of sarcasm or snark. 

“Why would you?” Kurt said quietly as he slid down the wall to the floor.  “I was horrible to you.” 

Adam sat down beside him and leaned back against the wall, “No, you weren’t.  You just went back to your ex.  I knew that was a possibility from the beginning.” 

Kurt looked at Adam, and his heart clenched again at the sight of pain in his eyes.  “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Adam looked over at him.

“Everything.  Well, I’m not sorry about being with you.  But for everything after that.” 

“What’s done is done, Kurt.” Adam said his name with the adorable accent that had first caught Kurt’s attention. 

‘’I’d better go.  Blaine will be getting back soon.  He wasn’t happy that the Dean made him meet with her.  He never seems to be happy these days.  No matter what.”  Kurt stopped himself, feeling guilty for bringing Blaine up for discussion.

“Blaine.  Right.”

“You two hang out some, right?” Kurt asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“That we do.” 

“Are you good friends?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call us friends, Kurt.  But yes, we sometimes hang out.” 

“I wish we could.  You and me, I mean.  I know it’s selfish of me to want that, but I do.  It would probably make Blaine angry, and it wouldn’t be fair to you either.” 

“Kurt,” Adam helped him to his feet.  ‘’Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish.  Not all the time, of course, and not to the point where nothing matters except for what _you_ want.  But sometimes, it’s okay.”

‘’I’ll keep that in mind,” Kurt said and he walked out of the practice room.

\-----------------------------------------

Another month of Blaine trying to take over the Apples and complaining whenever he wasn’t given full control of the group had put everybody in the group on edge.  A few Apples argued back with Blaine, and then Kurt got to deal with a Blaine who spent all of their coffee date complaining about how nobody in the group was taking him seriously as a performer. 

“Blaine, it’s okay to be selfish sometimes, but not to the point where nothing matters except for what you want,” Kurt snapped at him.

‘’What did you say?” Blaine sat back, in shock.  “Are you calling me selfish?” 

‘’I’m saying that it’s okay to want all the songs, but it’s not okay to act as if you not getting all the songs is because the group is being unfair to you.” 

‘’I can’t believe you’re siding with them,” Blaine argued.  ‘’You don’t understand what I go through in there.” 

‘’Yes, I do.  You said the same thing about high school, but yet you got plenty of times to shine there too.  Your point of view is flawed Blaine.  Nobody is slighting you simply by allowing someone else to shine.  Sometimes you sound exactly like Rachel, and I already have one of her in my life.” 

Kurt got up and walked out of the coffee shop. 

He’d regret this confrontation later, because he knew Blaine would never let it go until Kurt apologized, but it felt good to get that off his chest.

\----------------------------------------------

A few hours later, Kurt was on the couch, reading and drinking tea, when the sliding door to the loft slammed shut.

Blaine was there, muttering to himself and stalking across the room, obviously heading towards the bedroom they shared.

Part of Kurt wanted to confront him, but he kept silent. 

Then he heard the tell-tale sign of Blaine attacking his punching bag, so if Blaine wasn’t mad at Kurt, he was mad at someone else.  He only ever attacked the bag when he had the need to confront someone over something they’d done to slight him.

He was probably just still mad at Kurt, even though if that were the case, Blaine would have started in on him by now.  He rarely left an opportunity to complain at Kurt untouched.

Kurt’s cell phone rang, and he pushed accept quickly when he saw Adam’s name flash across the screen.

“Hello?”

_“Kurt, is everything okay?”_

“I’m fine.  Why?”

_“Blaine was just here, and he was acting strangely, and I was just concerned about you.”_

Adam’s voice was hesitant, and that was unusual for him.  Adam’s confidence was one of the things that first attracted Kurt to him.

“Well, Blaine is angry, but that’s to be expected I suppose.  I’m fine though.” 

_“Okay, but if anything… well I mean if he says… I don’t know how to say this.  But when you two do talk, it’s not how it sounds, alright?  Well, it is, but it also isn’t.  I’m not explaining myself well, am I?”_

“Well, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I guess I will soon.  Talk to you later.” 

Kurt hung up and walked towards the bedroom. 

Confrontations with Blaine were best handled quickly, that way Kurt could apologize and then Blaine would go back to normal.

‘’Blaine, are you alright?”

“Fine,” Blaine called out.

Kurt opened the curtain to find Blaine sitting on the bed, facing the punching bag in the corner, looking dejected and a bit tired.

‘’What is wrong?” Kurt was beginning to be done with Blaine’s inability to talk about a problem without throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get his way.

“Nothing,” Blaine replied, his voice sounding like an actual pout.

“Are you still upset with me?” 

“Kind of.  I don’t think you were being fair to me.  But I’ll get over it soon.  But this isn’t about you right now.”

‘’Then what is it?” Kurt snapped, and he knew he sounded exasperated with Blaine but he was beyond caring at the moment.

‘’I tried to cheat on you again!” Blaine stood and turned to him.  “I didn’t do anything, and it wouldn’t have meant anything if something did happen.  I just needed someone.   But it didn’t happen.  I went to him, and I figured he would appreciate my problem more than you did.  And I figured maybe if we hooked up, I’d get over being mad at you, like I did last time. But I didn’t hook up with him.  I promised myself I wouldn’t do it, but I tried.” 

Kurt stared at him. 

He was having trouble comprehending Blaine’s words. 

‘’You tried to cheat on me, but you didn’t?”

“Yes, Kurt.  It didn’t happen.’’

‘’Because you stopped?  Because you chose not to do it?  You said _you_ went to _him_?  You changed your mind?”

‘’What’s with all the questions?  Isn’t it enough that I didn’t do it?”

“No, it’s not enough!  Why do you think our problems can be solved by you fucking someone else?” Kurt shouted.

“I DON’T KNOW!” Blaine yelled before turning to punch the bag in frustration.  ‘’He said no, okay?  I tried to hook up with him because it was so easy to do it the first time, but he said no because he cares about you!” 

_Adam._

He’d gone to Adam.

And Adam called.

‘’You went to _Adam_?” Kurt gritted out.  “What is wrong with you?”

‘’I thought he was into me, but it was the Jeremiah thing all over again.  He was just being friendly.  He wants nothing to do with me because he still wants you!” 

‘’And that’s why you’re mad, isn’t it?” Kurt said firmly.  “You’re not mad at yourself for trying to cheat.  You’re mad that _he said no_.” 

The look on Blaine’s face told Kurt all he needed to know.  

“Get out, Blaine.” 

“What?” Blaine looked confused.  “But I didn’t _do_ anything.’’

‘’Get out.  Go live with Sam and Artie because you cannot stay here.  I have put up with too much from you.  I’ve kept myself from being happy just so you’ll be happy.  But it won’t ever matter to you how much I give up because all you care about is yourself.” 

‘’That’s not true!”

‘’Yes it is.  Now get out.  We’re done.  Pack your stuff and you’d better be gone by tonight. 

Kurt turned and walked away.

\----------------------------------------

Adam was at the stove waiting for the kettle to finish heating the water for his tea, glancing down to his phone what felt like every few seconds, when he heard the knock on the door. 

He removed the kettle and sat it to the side before going to open the door.

Kurt was on the other side. 

But he wasn’t crying.  He was angry, but he wasn’t broken.  Adam was pleased to see that because broken Kurt was a sight he never wanted to see again.

“I’m so stupid.  Please let me get this out before I lose my nerve.  I was stupid for going back to Blaine.  Not just because he can’t be faithful, though that’s a big part of it, but also because I don’t want to be with him.  I spend eighty percent of my time trying to justify why I’m still with him and the other twenty percent listening to everybody who knows Blaine tell me how great he is.  But he isn’t, is he?”

“Kurt,” Adam began.

“Wait.  Let me finish.  He told me what happened, and I know it wasn’t your fault.  And I’m sorry he did that to you.  I probably should have warned you that when he’s mad at me, he does this.  But forget about him, because he’s not important right now.  You are.  You were one of the best parts of my life, and I threw that away because I was convinced that I’d never get to be happy unless it was with Blaine.  Everybody told me that.  You have no idea how many people adore him and are willing to explain to me in great detail how I’ll never do any better than him.  But I could, couldn’t I?  And I just never saw it before.  I do know though.  I broke up with him, and no, I don’t expect you to take me back because that would probably be a stupid move on your part.  But I wanted you to know that I know now.  All those things you tried to tell me about how good I am… those things I never believed?  I think I had to figure them out on my own.  And I did.  I’m worth more, and I finally figured that out.  So thank you.” 

“Kurt,” Adam smiled.

“I’m going to leave you alone now.  I just wanted you to know that everything is okay.  I’m going to walk around for a while and wait for Blaine to pack his things.  But I’ll be okay.  I know I will.” 

Kurt brushed one hand over Adam’s cheek and turned away. 

Adam watched him walk towards the lift, and then he realized what he was doing.

He ran towards Kurt.

He’d let that man walk out of his life once before, and he regretted it.  He wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice.  They might not be able to salvage their relationship completely, but Adam was very much in favor of trying again.

“Kurt, wait!” Adam called as he jogged up to him, where he waited for the lift.

“I’ll be fine Adam.  I know things probably won’t work out because I hurt….”

Adam pressed his lips against Kurt’s, and he could feel Kurt smile against his mouth as he pulled away.

‘’But-“ Kurt tried again.

So Adam kissed him again.  He was done hearing Kurt’s excuses about why they wouldn’t work when he could just continue kissing him. 

Kurt was smiling brightly, with tears in his eyes, as Adam pulled away the second time.

“Blaine said you still wanted me.  I didn’t mention it before because that wasn’t the point of me telling you all that.” 

“I know,” Adam said softly as he kissed him again.

‘’mmph..”

Adam grinned into the kiss.

‘’You can’t kiss me to make me stop talking,” Kurt said with a laugh.

“I’m not trying to do that.  I’m trying to convince you that we can still work.  I do still want you.  I do not want Blaine, and I told him that clearly.”

“I can’t believe this,” Kurt said softly.   

“Neither can I,” Adam admitted. 

‘’I don’t deserve you.’’

“Don’t think like that.  We deserve to be happy, right?”

Kurt nodded.

“Then we do deserve each other.  Because I think we could be bloody well happy together.”

“We can definitely try,” Kurt agreed. 

‘’Come inside,” Adam said as he pulled Kurt away from the elevator and back towards his apartment. 

“To stay the night?” Kurt asked.

“To stay forever,’’ Adam said as he opened the door.


End file.
